News
Greg and Kevin Nealon Bicker at The Laugh Factory
Greg Fitzsimmons shares America’s great heritage of having water on the Kevin Nealon show at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood, CA.
Support Patrice O’Neal
You can help support Patrice and his family by ordering his DVD and CD.
On itunes:
Elephant in the Room DVD
Mr.P CD
On Amazon:
Elephant in the Room DVD
Mr.P CD
On itunes:
Elephant in the Room DVD
Mr.P CD
On Amazon:
Elephant in the Room DVD
Mr.P CD
Margaret Cho
Greg and guest Margaret Cho talk about Cyber Monday, masturbation and the joys of being a stand up comic. Followed up with some classic Overheards and a Talk Your Way Out of It.
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Greg’s Pumped! Walk-Through
Greg interviews the people that are responsible for Pumped!, his new TV series, and does some Malebag.
Don’t forget to tune in to Greg’s new series Pumped! Thursdays at 9PM/PST on The Speed Channel.
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Greg’s Pumped Premieres TONIGHT!
The Speed Channel’s new game show “Pumped!”, Hosted by Greg Fitzsimmons debuts Thursday, November 17th 9PM/PST!
Greg’s Laughspin Interview
Greg Fitzsimmons is an Emmy-award winning writer and comedian who has written for such shows as Ellen and Lucky Louie. As far as memorable jokes made during a stand-up set on a late night talk show goes, his “My dream job is to someday be a late night talk show host, but it’s tough, Mexicans are stealing all our jobs,” on Lopez Tonight, rivals Louie Anderson’s “I can’t stay long, I’m in between meals,” on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. Greg is also the host of the popular podcast Fitzdog Radio and in the past year released his first book Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons, Tales of Redemption from an Irish Mail Box, which is an account of the many letters that were written to Greg’s mother by teachers Greg got the best of as a young man. It’s available on Amazon.com and Kindle.
This fall you can see Greg host a new series called Pumped premiering on the Speed Channel on Nov. 17. Recently Greg made headlines when comedian Andy Dick was a guest on his radio show on Sirus XM’s Howard 101 (Monday nights at 9 PM PT) and Andy made several seemingly anti-semitic comments about Howard Stern. Stern was not too pleased with the comments and Greg discusses the aftermath with us. Greg also discusses the future of podcasting, his rage issues, if his feud with Marc Maron is over, and raises the question: has Alternative comedy run its course?
Can you tell us about your new show Pumped?
It’s kind of similar to Cash Cab except it happens at gas stations. You’re going to pull up to a gas station, and as you’re filling up your tank, my face is going to pop up on that video screen. And I’ll kind of start making fun of you and then I’ll just come out with a camera crew. We shot the pilot, it worked really well, and just ambushed people and started asking them questions and they win money, then they drive away. And we show up at a different, random gas station each time.
What kind of questions do you ask them?
In the pilot, it was kind of random, all over the place, but it’s the Speed Channel so they want it to be a little bit more focused on automobile stuff so I will probably not know the answers to a lot of the questions. I know a lot about cars, but not Speed Channel a lot about cars.
Not like Adam Carolla?
Not like Carolla.
Last year you did a set on Kimmel and you were very honest on your podcast about how you thought you had a bad set. Then your next TV set on Lopez Tonight got a big reaction from the crowd and you seemed to be a lot happier with it (see video below). Did you use what you thought was a bad TV set to motivate you to have a great set for your next TV appearance?
Well it’s different because every show is really different. Obviously, Lopez’s audience is Latino, and Kimmel’s audience is almost like a party.You show up and they even move the audience from the main theater into this smaller swing-set (Kimmel’s show). It’s like a club. It all comes down to the experience you’ve had as a stand-up all these years. Because every night, and almost every minute is an adjustment in stand-up, you’re constantly adjusting— your energy, your volume, how you’re moving, what bits you decide to do. So I don’t think one affected the other. Each one is a separate appearance.
On Kimmel, the mistake I think I made was it was a little bit too cerebral and I wasn’t really thinking about that party atmosphere that Kimmel has. And when I went to Lopez, I just had a lot of material about Latino people because my kids go to a Spanish emersion school and I’m from New York and I live in Venice Beach so I just got a lot of stuff that I feel strongly about and so I was just able to string together these jokes about Latinos. And I was really psyched because I love George. He’s a great comic, even though the show wasn’t fantastic. I respect him and I’ve known him a long time, so it felt really good.
You had that great first joke and I thought you had everyone right after that…
Yeah. “These Mexicans are taking all our jobs.” And then I just did the slow burn to George, and he was there for me. He gave it up and clapped, and that was a signal to the audience [that it was okay to laugh].
Did you write the rest of your set for that show after you thought of that first joke?
I thought of that the day before. And I was really questioning whether or not to do it… Because that’s going all in. And I decided, ‘Fuck it, I’m going all in.’
Your dad was a big radio guy in New York. Is that where your love for stand-up came from?
I think that there’s two things. There’s that, I grew up in a family where telling funny stories was paramount. If you sat at the dinner table and you were the one that was getting laughs, then you were the one that was getting attention from your parents. So there’s a very basic, sort of Freudian level that I was working from. And then also, I just always sort of liked the mathematics of telling jokes; I liked the structure of taking an idea, and sort of turning it in a way that the audience doesn’t see what’s coming until the exact moment when you want them to.
And then the more you get that timing down, the more sort of clever the idea is… I just liked all these things that went into this thing that creates a very black and white thing, you either get a laugh or you get no laugh, which is a really painful thing. I kind of respond to that high tension.
On your podcast, you’ve talked about giving up drinking and a Vicodin addiction. When you’re performing on those types of substances what’s the difference than when you’re performing sober?
Well I quit drinking about a year or two into doing stand-up and I knew that it was making a difference. I knew that drinking and doing stand-up was going to make me less of an effective comedian. And I just had a lot invested in wanting to be a really good comedian and so I stopped for that reason. Then I played around with pot and Vicodin when I went through my midlife crisis. And Vicodin made me able to write more, it was easier to perform on stage. It made me fearless, you had no fears, and it got to where on the late shows, I would take one, then I would just freestyle and it was the greatest. I’m not endorsing drugs, but Vicodin is really good when you’re a comedian.
You’ve been on the Howard Stern Show several times and you have a show on Howard’s channel. You’ve talked a lot about having to be honest and real when you’re on Howard. Do you think that has influenced your act or your radio show or podcast?
Yeah, I think it was that and also I started doing… when Alternative Comedy was just starting out in New York, there was a couple rooms that I got involved in and it was similar to the Stern mandate which is you can’t be dishonest, or people don’t care. So it was a challenge to me because I had been doing stand-up enough years… I knew how to handle myself onstage, but I hadn’t gone to deeper places. I didn’t go to places that made me uncomfortable.
And I realized with going on Stern that that’s where the good stuff was. And that’s where you go back to what makes you funny in the first place. That need to quell your anxiety by getting a laugh. And I think that when you start there it’s good. And then I also think that people receive it in a way that’s fresh because they know that you’re not taking on a topic and you don’t have an angle on the topic that’s polished. Like Seinfeld to me is obviously a great craftsman, but I don’t think he’s ever done anything that’s that interesting.
One of my favorite moments on your podcast is when you and Bill Burr were talking about Alt rooms and he said, “They come in there with their fucking Buddy Holly glasses…”
Well Alternative Comedy came out of the sameness of stand-up and that it was becoming not only hacky, but it was becoming very sort of misogynistic, and it didn’t represent a lot of points of view, so Alternative Comedy became this place where other voices could be heard that wanted to talk about politics or more personal stories, and you had such a myriad of different types of voices. And now I’ve found that it’s just the opposite. I find that in stand-up clubs you see people like Louie C.K. or Todd Barry or Patrice Oneal, they’re coming from all over the place and they’re doing it in ways that nobody has done it. Then I go to the Alternative rooms and everybody (mimicking tone) has this sing-songy thing that they deliver and it’s very ironic and they’re dressed the same and all they talk about are meaningless things like pop culture…
Comic books, Star Wars…
Yeah, it’s like nerd has become cool and the whole thing to me has run its cycle.
You had Andy Dick on your radio show recently and there was a big controversy over him saying anti-semitic things about Howard Stern. Howard voiced his disgust on the air about it the next day and also seemed to think you should have stepped in. I know you wrote Howard an e-mail, has he responded?
No I didn’t hear back from him on the email. But that’s kind of how it is. Howard doesn’t really dwell on the past. I think whatever is going on in the moment he gets into it. I think if anything good came out of it, he got riled up and I think the fans always like to hear Howard getting riled up. I have no problem with him being upset with me at all. In terms of our personal relationship, as long as I don’t feel like it showed me disrespecting him, but the fact that the fans started sort of spreading this I’m anti-semitic because I had Andy on and he said anti-semitic things was really really bothersome to me because call me a hack or a thief or a douchebag, but don’t call me anti-semitic because it’s a really ugly word and it’s thrown around a little bit too easily and it’s Andy Dick. He’s Andy Dick.
He’s colorful, he’s a performance artist and I think Howard being called some of the things that he was called there was not new. He went too far with it and I think that Howard was genuinely and understandably upset about it, but you move on. He [Howard] moved on and I certainly sent him an e-mail from the heart saying I felt bad if it made him feel like I was not standing up for him in any way, that wasn’t my intent. But the truth is, they take an hour long show and they pull four or five clips that were small clips and they put it together and it really sounds like “Why wouldn’t Greg…” Because they were all 15 seconds when they happened. So it was sort of sprinkled in in a way, and it wasn’t as offensive as hearing it all lined up.
What has your podcast done for your career?
I don’t really think about it that way. I started doing it because my radio show felt too short and I always wanted to keep the guests longer and the guests always wanted to hang longer so my producer said, ‘Why don’t you do a podcast? We’ll throw this up on your website after.’ And then I liked it so much I started doing two a week because people were responding to it and complaining that it wasn’t on more often. It doesn’t cost me anything, I get a lot of great feedback from it. It definitely makes me create more material. And yeah, I definitely have a lot more people coming out to shows because of the podcast.
But it’s funny, it’s not a marketing tool, it’s just part of the whole picture of me. I don’t like to do anything in this business anymore that I don’t own and that I’m not in control of. I do stand-up, I create some TV shows, and I do this podcast, and I’ve got a lot of video type stuff I’m doing on my website that I own and control. I think that the podcast to me is something that if it were to really start to get advertising the way I think it will, it could be something that you could really do full time. All ships rise with the tide. I want more people to do podcasts because I think every person that does it as a comic is bringing their fan base into it and once they do, they’ll check out other podcasts. So I think it’s great.
I think many of yours and Marc Maron’s fans were disappointed when him and yourself buried the hatchet recently. Because when you guys took shots at each other it was great radio (podcasting). Where is the relationship now?
Well Maron is a fucking douche bag (Greg says with a childlike grin, knowing he’s playing with fire). I’ve known Marc since I started. Marc is not an easy guy to get along with and he’s insecure and yet he’s a genius, and I also have a shared history with him. So I feel very close to him. That being said, there are interviews we’ve done where I feel like he’s taken shots at me and I don’t respond well to that, and vice versa. He felt like I was taking shots at him.
So I think it’s certain types of personalities in the room together will have conflict. I think it does make for good podcasting. It’s funny, we just had a talk about it recently and we both sort of acknowledge that it would have been good radio to keep it going, but it’s just neither one of our styles to do that. We’ve had some organic fights on the air, and I’m sure we will again, but right now we’re fine.
How did the feud start?
I tried to fight him in New York. I tried to get him to come outside with me. It was that Alternative room that I was telling you about, Largo. He said some shit to me, and he had said shit to me for a while, and I just said, ‘Let’s go outside.’ And I went to grab him and Louie C.K. jumped in between us and broke it up. It didn’t break it up, because I don’t think that… Marc’s not a fighter.
You’ve hosted the Adult Video News Award Show twice. Is that a tough gig?
It’s probably as tough as it gets. Because it’s seven thousand porn stars. They’re all coked up, they’re all trying to show their tits to the camera and then you’re up there. And you’re the first thing that happens all night. And you’re doing stand-up comedy, which has nothing to do with porn. So the producer said, ‘You’re going to have about 30 seconds to get them, and if you don’t, they’re going to start talking and their not going to stop talking, and we’re going to have to walk you off the stage.’ So I worked out a joke that I thought would (do well)… Like the joke on Lopez we were talking about… I had kind of a perfect opening joke and then I worked on material for like two or three months and it went really well.
Is that a gig you take for the challenge?
Yeah, exactly. For me I’ll do any kind of gig. I just did a gig in a guy’s garage in Santa Monica. Literally he opens his garage door. He’s got a mic and a couple speakers, and about a hundred people show up and they have a keg. There’s another guy who does it outside and you use a bullhorn. I’ll do any show, anywhere, I love it.
I’ve heard you talk about one of your worst gigs on the podcast, where they had you in the middle of the crowd and the crowd didn’t know where you were…
Yeah, it was a New Year’s Eve show in Worcester, Massachusetts. Everyone’s dancing, it’s like 11:30 at night on New Year’s Eve and the DJ just turns the music off and he goes, ‘And now a comedian, Greg Fitzsimmons.’ And I had a wireless mic and I was standing on the dance floor, no elevation, no lights, and I just started telling jokes. People are looking around, they’re angry, they’re yelling at the DJ. A bunch of guidos. I just started walking around the room, kind of like shitting on people. I finally went to the women’s room and I opened up the door and I figured I start yelling at the women in the stalls.
And I open the door and it’s a girl on one toilet and she’s sitting there facing me, taking a shit, so she screams then I just leave and I’m still doing my act on the other side. And now, she’s got her boyfriend and they’re walking towards me. The guy is huge and he’s going to kill me. And I just put the mic down, I ran out the door and I got in my car and left. Happy New Year.
You have Bill Burr on your podcast a lot. How do you guys riff so well together? Is it just the Boston thing?
Yeah, he used to open for me a lot in Boston coming up and I always loved the guy. He’s so pure. There’s no bullshit, no ego, he is still to this day completely unaffected by any success he’s had. We just went back and forth on Twitter this week, we must have tweeted each other 10 times but just in the Boston accent. We’d spell it out. And we play hockey on Tuesday nights, all these comedians play. I just love seeing the guy, man. He’s just a really really good dude and I love how good he’s gotten as a stand-up, I just really enjoy it. We just said we have to go on each other’s podcasts again soon.
When I interviewed him before he said one of the things he likes about you is your ability to guess people’s age, bra sizes, and ethnicity on stage. Where did that come from?
I like to think that my shows are always different and I’m kind of responding to the crowd. Like I was saying before, about adjusting, just trying to be in the moment. A big part of that is you have to be able to read people really well. So I took it to the next level back in Boston when I told a guy who was heckling me that he had to shut up if I could guess his name, his car, and his girlfriend’s name, and I did. People went absolutely fucking berserk. They lost their shit. Ever since then, I’ve started to play “Guess the Asian,” where I guess the ethnicity of Asian women in the crowd. And I guess bra sizes.
Bra sizes, I probably bat about 93 percent correct. “Guess the Asian,” I have nights where I can go four for five and I have nights where I can go zero for four. Which is even funnier. To me it’s just really funny to show people just how much comedians know about them. They think they’re anonymous out there, and I like playing with the idea of letting them know that they’re also being observed by us. Because if someone heckles you, you have like three seconds to deconstruct their whole lives in your mind so that you win the fight. And we’re good at it or we don’t last.
You’re really open with having rage issues. Can you talk about where that started and if it fuels your stand-up?
I was diagnosed with ADHD and my shrink said that’s why I’ve always gotten into a lot of fist fights— because people with ADHD are drawn to surges of high stimulus and combat. She said, ‘It’s totally natural that you’re a stand-up comic because you get to go out there and you’re draining all that energy inside of you by engaging and going to combat.’ And I notice that if I haven’t performed in a couple weeks, I start to get a little depressed and the stand-up forces me to be firing on all pistons; neurologically I’m alive when I’m onstage. And I think it’s the same thing with fights. I’m still drawn to fights. More than I should be. I’ve gone to therapy for it, but it still happens.
You tell a story in your book about being hit by a nun when you were in school and how your mother confronted her. How did it change the way you looked at your mother?
It was kindergarten and it Mrs. Hanley. I remember her name, cause she slapped me with her hand and I told my mom. And she didn’t go to the school by herself, she brought me with her. There was this parent thing going on where a bunch of parents were sitting in the gym on the bleachers, and Mrs. Hanley was there and my mom walked up to her. She didn’t say a word, and she slapped her across the face. And then Mrs. Hanley didn’t do anything, and then my mother put me in the car and drove me home.
And I just remember smiling for the rest of the night and thinking that on one hand, there was this teacher that had done this really horrible thing, and that the situation was righted, that it was corrected, and that my mother cared about me enough to do that. Also, she was showing me that there’s rules for the world and then there’s rules for our family. We behave differently. My dad got into fist fights his entire life, and me and my brother did. Rage is part of the Irish culture. It’s hard to explain, my wife doesn’t understand it.
Were you happy with your act before crowds started to like what you were doing?
I was in college as an English major, so I wanted to be a writer. Like I was saying before, I like the craft of writing and the science of it. There were jokes that I was really proud of, and then there was a lot of stuff that I needed to do starting out to get the crowd. I wasn’t a natural stand-up. I needed to do a lot of material I wasn’t proud of. It was very frat boyish when I started. Then I got to the point where I could effectively be a comedian onstage. Then I think it went backwards, I started to trust in myself that I could do material that was more original and that was closer to what was my truth. And then it went to a deeper place, I think. I was getting cheap laughs, but I needed to do that before I could do the other stuff.
You wrote on Louis C.K.’s Lucky Louie. Why do you think that show had a short run?
That was the one that got away. I’ve written on dozens of shows, and that’s the one I feel like I could have done that for 10 years. Louie’s a really close friend, and we have very similar lives, similar wives. We both came out of Boston, then though New York, and then LA. It was just a show that I think suffered from how ugly it was. I mean that the material was raw and it was more honest than people really wanted to look at for what it was like for a blue collar family. The set was physically very ugly, and I think that was probably something that worked against it staying on the air. I don’t think they could stomach both the material being that harsh and also the set being that drab.
You’ve talked a lot about getting pulled to write on ‘black’ shows. I think the idea of a very white, Irish guy working on a mostly ‘black’ show is hilarious. Why are you such a good fit for those shows?
I think that black shows tend to be looking for sociological angles on things. I think black people, you can’t not address your experience as a black person. I’m drawn to that, whether it’s writing about people’s sexuality, or race, or religion, I’m drawn to talking about those things. Louie (Louis C.K.) actually got me my first job for Cedric The Entertainer. Then your card is kind of stamped because you’ve written on a black show, but then also I would seek out those jobs. Wanda Sykes is a good friend, so I wound up writing on her show. To me it just feels like with a black show, you’re always guaranteed it’s never going to be candy-ass, there’s always going to be some edge to it.
The fearlessness you have onstage and the way you own the stage, where you almost crush a guy’s foot with the mic stand because he wouldn’t take his foot off the stage, where does it come from?
I think it’s the same thing as where the fighting comes from. There’s this rage and this thing with Irish people, like, ‘You’ve stepped on my territory. You’ve challenged me.’ Really, it’s an insecurity I think to lash out the way I do about it. At the same time, I think as a stand-up, that is what you’re doing up there. You’ve got 400 people watching you and it’s implicit that you’re the funniest one. You’ve got a mic, and they paid and they’re watching you, and that’s a big responsibility in a way. You’ve sort of had the balls to say, ‘Alright, I can be that guy.’
And when somebody infringes on that in anyway, not just putting their foot onstage, or heckling, but even talking to somebody else at their table instead of listening, is something that you have to be really, really vigilant about. It’s like a virus and you have to stamp it out. The crowd has to see that if they do something like that, that they’ll be punished for it. Then it doesn’t happen. You have to really smash it as soon as you see it. How you smash it doesn’t necessarily mean, ‘You fucking asshole!’ I can just be talking to them, giving them a little bit of attention, then as you do that they feel that you have the power, and they start to respect you more because you’ve not had to lash out. But at the same time, you’ve gently brought them into the show in a way and they respect you for it.
For more info on Greg, his radio show, podcast and new Speed Channel show Pumped, check out his official site at gregfitzsimmons.com.
Greg’s Picks: Top 10 Comedy Albums
As promised, here is the list of Greg’s Top Ten Funniest/Most Influential Comedy Albums!
“Wild and Crazy Guy”
Steve Martin
“The 2,000 Year Old Man”
Mel Brooks & Carl Reiner
“Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart”
Bob Newhart
“Is it something I said?”
Richard Pryor
“Class Clown”
George Carlin
“Rant in E Minor”
Bill Hicks
“Standup Comic”
Woody Allen
“Bill Cosby: Himself”
Bill Cosby
“Mitch all together”
Mitch Hedberg
“Skanks for the memories”
Dave Attell
“Wild and Crazy Guy”
Steve Martin
“The 2,000 Year Old Man”
Mel Brooks & Carl Reiner
“Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart”
Bob Newhart
“Is it something I said?”
Richard Pryor
“Class Clown”
George Carlin
“Rant in E Minor”
Bill Hicks
“Standup Comic”
Woody Allen
“Bill Cosby: Himself”
Bill Cosby
“Mitch all together”
Mitch Hedberg
“Skanks for the memories”
Dave Attell
Irish Voice
“Greg Fitzsimmons has just written one of most hilarious and unexpectedly moving Irish American memoirs in years.”
- The Irish Voice
Pre-order the Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons Audiobook!
Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons is my life, told through a cavalcade of disciplinary letters, incident reports, and newspaper clippings that my parents received from teachers and school officials. I pick up where my parents left off with my own collection of letters received during college and throughout my career as a writer, producer, and stand-up comic. Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons comes full circle to show that the Fitzsimmons torch has been passed on proudly to a new generation.
Special readings in the audiobook by:
Zach Galiafinakis—–Natalie Maines—–Adam Carolla—–Pete Yorn—–Andy Dick—–Brian Posehn—–Bob Saget—–AND MORE!If you pre-order the Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons Audiobook you will receive The Best of Fitzdog Radio MP3 absolutely free!
Greg’s New Show in Variety
Speed races toward new series
‘Pumped,’ ‘Hard Parts’ get greenlights
By JON WEISMAN
Fox-owned Speed has greenlit one new series for fall and two others for 2012. The cabler has ordered 20 episodes of gameshow “Pumped,” a trivia contest that invites customers at gas stations to become immediate contestants. It’s set for a November launch with Greg Fitzsimmons hosting. In addition, Speed requisitioned 13 episodes of “Hard Parts: South Bronx,” focusing on the search for impossible-to-find auto parts. Speed is eyeing a second-quarter 2012 premiere for “Hard Parts,” as well as new amateur driving competition skein, “Whipped.” Speed has also ordered 13 more episodes to extend the first season of “My Ride Rules,” while greenlighting “Dumbest Stuff on Wheels,” “Car Warriors” and “Stuntbusters” for soph seasons.
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Greg’s Kik Axe Interview
Comedians on Comedians: The Middle with Greg Fitzsimmons
Greg Fitzsimmons has won four Emmy Awards, has his own show on Sirius/XM, and has over 50 TV appearances. He’s a regular on Howard Stern, Letterman, Conan, and seemingly everything that’s ever aired on VH1. His podcast is wildly successful, his book “Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons” did incredibly well, and he’s about to host a new series on the Speed Channel called “Pumped.” But all that and he’s not a household name.
“I have made it to the middle in show business and I really like it here,” Fitzsimmons said. “I’m not sure that more money or fame would bring me more happiness.”
Fitzsimmons’ happiness comes in part from the career he spent so many years building up. Growing up “obsessed” with standup, his first appearance was at a talent show his senior year of high school.
“There were drugs involved that night,” Fitzsimmons remembered about his routine bashing the faculty. “The principal unplugged my microphone half way through.”
After the standard demeaning rise (“I once had a woman vomit on me after I followed a comedian dressed up as a clam,” Fitzsimmons said.), Fitzsimmons landed a gig hosting Idiot Savants, a game show on MTV that lasted from December 1996 til April 1997.
But that same year, Fitzsimmons landed a sitcom deal, a show on the USA Network, and a number of other TV appearances. The next decade and a half was a steady climb, much of it centered around his long-term relationship with The Howard Stern Show.
“Stern is like required listening for everybody in show business,” Fitzsimmons said about the man who gave him his own show. “You cannot explain how someone gets as successful as him, but being near it gives you a confidence that you should go out and do it your own way.”
The other part of Fitzsimmons’ happiness comes from his family. Fitzsimmons even sent his mother his first Emmy.
“I think she has dinner with it every night,” Fitzsimmons said.
But it was Fitzsimmons’ father, radio personality Bob Fitzsimmons, that gave him the advice that would help shape him.
“My father told me when I first started that standup is exciting and I should pursue it, but that writing would be the thing that would give me power over my career,” Fitzsimmons said. “I never have to take a road gig or a writing gig I don’t want because I always have the ability to play one against the other.”
Fitzsimmons standup also reflects his writing ability. Much of his set is made up of short and to-the-point perfectly structured jokes.
“I’m not saying [the TSA] was intense at the screening,” Fitzsimmons set up during one of his Letterman appearances. “But tomorrow night the guy who frisked me is introducing me to his parents.”
Writing for shows like “Ellen” and the Emmy Awards themselves also allow Fitzsimmons to spend time at home with his wife and kids. And to obtain a kind of happiness we all seek.
“Irish parents will try to off-set their low self-esteem by producing successful children so nobody can look down on them,” Fitzsimmons only half joked. “My dad was really proud of me. It was a nice thing.”
While many stand-ups fill their lives with regret and a desperate desire to achieve whatever is next, Fitzsimmons is content with his “middle.” Well, almost content.
“I make a great living doing exactly what I want and have a lot of choices at any given time,” Fitzsimmons said. “I would, at some point however, like to do blow in a Porsche with Paulie Shore.”
LOL WITH IT: Interview with Fitzdog Radio’s Greg Fitzsimmons
During the late-nineties and early-aughts (shudder), I was a young comedy fan watching shows like Comedy Central Presents, A&E’s Comedy Showcase, and NBC’s Late Friday. Really popular acts like Chris Rock and Jeff Foxworthy were living large and guys like Louis Black, Mitch Hedberg and Dane Cook were gaining a lot of momentum. Everybody had an angle, a super-memorable gimmick. But there was another category of standup that seemed less celebrated: folks who simply had funny jokes.
These schtick-less performers weren’t loud or weird or interesting in appearance. They simply opened their mouths and said funny things. Guys like Nick DiPaolo, Greg Giraldo, Louis CK, Marc Maron and Patton Oswalt were zeros in the fame game but batted a thousand whenever you could catch them for five minutes on TV. Nowadays, they are comedy household names, because eventually the Internet hit puberty and craftsmen can be judged for the actual quality of their work instead of their marketability.
Journeyman Greg Fitzsimmons is one of those guys. Luckily, today he’s reaping the benefits of sticking it out through decades of relative obscurity. His podcast, Fitzdog Radio, is in the top 25 for comedy podcasts on iTunes. You should check out the episode from last November where he dissects Philly’s ethnic culture and interviews our own Darryl Charles.
I recently had a chat with him where he talked about working in his undies, why he loves playing at Helium Comedy Club and his stance that Philly is actually part of New Jersey …
City Paper: How has podcasting changed the comedy business?
Greg Fitzsimmons: I definitely see a [bigger] turnout for my standup shows and the listeners are really connected to what I have to say. I can tell they are invested in the podcast and are not going anywhere. That’s a great feeling. Also I enjoy performing in my underwear in my garage.
CP: When last you were in Philly, you described our fair city as “Italy fucked by Ireland, plus black folks” (which you admitted is also the Bronx, South Boston, etc.) Beyond ethnicity, how do you view Philly culturally?
GF: There is a self-delusion that Philly is not New Jersey. Does anyone really think it is part of Pennsylvania?Pennsylvania is chocolate and Amish and woods. You guys are Jersey. As soon as you get enough money you go directly to the Jersey Shore or Atlantic City.
CP: You’ve shown some loyalty to Helium. Are you generally still doing clubs? Where do you stand in terms of getting away from the bachelorette parties and playing theaters? Do you prefer a traditional comedy club?
GF: Theaters are tough because you have to sell every ticket for it to make sense financially for everyone. I prefer clubs because you can be more creative and feel the room. You can write more material and you don’t have to play it big to reach the back rows. Helium is a perfect layout and has an awesome feel to it. You can see everyone and the sound is good. Most of the waitresses are really into me.
CP: Who were your comedy heroes growing up?
GF: I listened to my Dad’s comedy albums and read his humor books when I was young so I really loved Bob Hope and Art Buchwald and Bill Cosby. The Marx Brothers and Mel Brooks’ movies were a real bonding thing for me and my Dad, also. I got older and got into Steve Martin, George Carlin and Richard Pryor. In high school the Jerky Boys changed the way I talk to this day. I still call people “sizzle chest” and “Jerky.”
CP: Where do you see your career in five years? Any projects coming that you’re excited about?
GF: I am hosting a game show on The Speed Channel starting in November. It’s 20 episodes where I ask people questions while they fill their tanks at gas stations. I’m actually not kidding. I also have a show in development at Nickelodeon and am waiting to see whether a pilot I executive produced for VH1 goes to series. I’ve got five straight weeks of standup booked for the fall and in the middle of that I will do two podcasts a week and a radio show each Monday night. Oh yeah, and I have a wife and two kids at home. They seem confused when I am around the house.
CP: How close are we to the breakdown of modern culture?
GF: If you track the Holy Roman Empire, right before the fall, the similarities to our country right now are frightening. They had a bloated government bureaucracy, paid mercenaries in place of true soldiers and a sense of infallibility. The GOP has the EPA in its crosshairs for the next election so any hope for the environment is shit. These are tough days to have kids …
The Free Fitzdog App!
Blackberry users, the app is yours.
iphone and Android users,the app is yours as well.Watch and listen to the best of Greg (“Fitzdog”) Fitzsimmons — now all in one easy app. Greg is a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Show and The Adam Carolla Show and he has won 4 Daytime Emmy Awards on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”. He worked on “HBO’s “Lucky Louie”, “Politically Incorrect w/ Bill Maher” and any others. Currently he is developing a sitcom with 20th Century Fox.
New Bidding War Up on Ebay!!
For those of you who would love a mention on the Fitzdog Radio Podcast put a bid on Ebay! The winner will be informed by Saturday, April 23 2011 and the plug will air on the Fitzdog Radio Podcast the following week.
Greg’s Standup/ Podcast shows at Carolines in NY
Special guests announced for Greg’s Standup/ Podcast shows at Carolines in NY
Thursday, April 14th
The bonanza begins at Carolines on Broadway with guest comic genius Neal Brennan, co-creator of Chappelle’s Show.Friday, April 15th
7:30PM: Greg has a man-to-man with zany comedian Kevin Meaney, The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.
10:00PM: Greg will bring up comedian Jim Norton, Zach & Miri Make a Porno, Bored to Death .
Saturday, April 16th
7:30PM: The fun just keeps on coming with guest Keith Robinson (Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn).
10:00PM: Greg shares the stage with comedian Dave Attell (Insomniac with Dave Attell, The Gong Show with Dave Attell).
Sunday, April 17th
7:30PM: Greg is joined by guest Steve Schirripa (The Sopranos).
It’s ON!
The EBAY bidding war for the Overheard sponsorship has started!
You’ve heard of the Fitzdog Radio Podcast, now you can be ON the Fitzdog Radio Podcast!
All you have to do is join the bidding war and put up your highest bid on this prime audio real estate. The winner will be notified and then must come up with a short plug, being a sentence or two. Once you have provided your special plug, it will be recorded by comedian Greg Fitzsimmons and aired on the next Fitzdog Radio Podcast.
CLICK HERE to win the war!
Let the games begin!
Talk Your Way Out of It! with Teresa Strasser
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Watch as guest Teresa Strasser talks her way out of it!
Reviews of Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons
REVIEWS OF “DEAR MRS. FITZSIMMONS”
“Greg Fitzsimmons has just written one of most hilarious and unexpectedly moving Irish American memoirs in years.” - The Irish Voice
“Comic Greg Fitzsimmons’ new book is a hilarious new angle on the autobiography. A fantastic comedic wit with a dazzling ability to move words on paper, Greg Fitzsimmons is far more than another stand-up routine. Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons is highly recommended.” – Rated 9 out of 10. - Crave Online
“In his new book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons, comedian Greg Fitzsimmons provides a hilarious glimpse into his warped Irish-Catholic upbringing.” - Vanity Fair
This is a must-read… it’s both evocative and entertaining… a great book for many audiences: If you are Irish or know or love anyone of Hibernian extraction, this book is a no-brainer…incredibly moving - LAist.com
“A merciless and hilarious memoir of surviving a domineering father to turn hate and rage into comedy.” - Shelf Awareness
“Greg Fitzsimmons thinks he’s one of the greatest comedic minds of our generation; and in this case he’s right ” - Adam Carolla (comedian)
“Jewish guilt is well known because Jews are loud and free to express themselves. Catholic guilt, however, is fucking bottomless. Irish to the core, despite himself, this bottomlessness oozes from Greg Fitzsimmons every pore and it’s raw, honest and hilarious. This portrait of one comic’s life is funny, hard and true.” - Sarah Silverman (NY Times Bestselling author of “Bedwetter”)
“I’ve often wondered what it was that made Greg Fitzsimmons so funny. And so filled with non-specific rage. Now I know, and you can, too.” -Andy Richter (National Treasure)
They say that an element of comedy is the willingness to get in touch with one’s own insecurities. Greg Fitzsimmons has mastered this fearless approach in such a profoundly deep and intense way that his talent truly stands out as unique and sharp… Far beyond that of many of his peers. His openness and honestly mixed with brutal and uncompromising delivery makes him a comedian that is both funny and easy to relate to. This book is not only a glimpse into the life of a talented artist, it is also a study of the human psyche. Readers may let out a sigh of relief as they discover that they are not alone. Crazy can work! This is one of the few books that could be found in either the comedy, biography or self-help section at your local bookstore. - Dave Navarro (Rock Dude)
Greg Fitzsimmons was the first comic to ever give me unwanted advice. I thought he was a jerk. I was wrong. Not only is he a great guy he is also one of the best storytellers I have ever heard. I look forward to someone reading this book to me. - Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover)
The Punch
New video available of Greg on The Punch, from ACE Broadcasting.
Click HERE to check it out.
Free Fitz Of Laughter CD
Buy 2 copies of Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons, send the receipt to Alice @ fitzdogradio@gmail.com, and she’ll email you a free copy of Fitz Of Laughter. Doesn’t get simpler than that. It’s not available in stores. This is the only way you can get it!
Brian Regan
Greg does the podcast from New York this week with comedian Brian Regan. Brian talks a little about his family life, and his very regimented work schedule. Greg and Brian are much more comfortable with self effacing stories compared with stories where that person is the hero, which leads to how “Overheards” was created. They talk about how quickly they’ll judge a tv show that effort, time and money has been poured into, but stick with any porn almost instantly. They talk about dealing with comedy crowds, and trying to do one better than the crowd. Greg wraps up the podcast by announcing that his book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons, is out.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes.
Fitzdog Radio
Greg is rolling solo for this weeks podcast where he entices Americans not to vote, he name drops all the celebrities his kids got candy from, and he talks about the hecklers he encountered in West Palm Beach. Greg then goes over the scientific data behind his prejudices, he talks about the reaction his book received from his mother and therapist, he takes your Overheards and Half-A-Mans, and the audience is formally introduced to new producer Jordy.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes. Greg in Palm Beach, Florida
Greg does a podcast from Palm Beach, Florida. He talks about the local attack ads politicians use in the area, and takes your Overheards. He also interviews comedian Mike Veccio.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes. Rob Corddry
Greg and Mike Gibbons welcome Rob Corddry to this week’s podcast. Greg goes over the feud brewing between Mel Gibson and Zach Galifinakis, Rob goes over the list of people he would refuse to work with, and they talk about problems they have with bestiality. Greg tries out a new segment called Jokes Jay Leno is Afraid to Do, Rob explains how he got to the top, they take Matt Besser’s Half-A-Mans, and they play Liars Poker.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes. Mike Birbiglia
Greg chats with comedian Mike Birbiglia in this podcast.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes.
11/22 Book Signing Indianapolis @ Big Hat Books
Greg will be doing an signing at Big Hat Books on November 22nd @ 6pm. You can find them at 6510 Cornell Ave. Indianapolis, IN 46220. If you need to call ahead for info, the number is (317) 202-0203.
Sam Simon
Greg and Mike Gibbons welcome legend Sam Simon to this week’s podcast. Mike Gibbons opens the show with the daily news, they talk about Randy Quaid and is wife going crazy, and Sam talks about punching a guy at a poker table. Sam comments on the Howard Stern / Greg Fitzsimmons book forward controversy, the group agrees Steve Martin’s tweets are disappointing, they trade Norm MacDonald gambling stories, take your overheards, and Sam exposes online poker.
DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST – Click HERE to download the podcast directly, or do yourself a favor and Click HERE to subscribe on iTunes.
The Nerdist, Chris Hardwick
Greg and Chris Hardwick
Greg And Steven Weber
Steven and Greg in the studio
Andy Dick w/ His HOT 20-yr-old (GIRL)Friend
Andy and Chelsea
Donate to help support Greg Giraldo’s Children
As many of you know, Greg Giraldo passed away last week. A fund has been started by friends and fans to help support and educate his three young boys. If you’d like to help, send a check to the address below, or click the link to donate via PayPal.
Thank you and God bless.
Giraldo Children’s Fund via PayPal
Giraldo Children’s Fund
C/o MaryAnn McAlpin-Giraldo
P.O. Box 1827
New York, NY 10025
Natalie Maines & Zach Galifianakis (coming soon)
Standby for my interview with Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks. Zach Galifianakis walked into the studio during the podcast and we all talked for a very long time (alongside Mike Gibbons). Tuesday at noon Part one of this historic broadcast will be available. Thanks for your patience.
Natalie Maines
Dixie Chicks CONFIRMED for tonight’s radio show and podcast! Don’t miss it!
Could Sexual Baseball be on the cards? Stay tuned!
Greg’s Standup Dates: Atlanta & St Louis
Check out Greg in a city near you:
The Atlanta Punchline – Thursday, August 12th through Saturday, August 14th
St Louis Funnybone – Thursday, August 19th through Saturday, August 21st
Coming Up on Monday: Pearl
Coming on Greg Fitzsimmons Show and Fitzdog Radio this week is Pearl! Check them out on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Be sure to send in your twitter questions for Greg, Pearl Aday, and Scott Ian NOW … just @ reply to @gregfitzshow
PEARL TOUR DATES
April 17 Las Vegas, NV @ Cheyenne Saloon
April 18 Aspen, CO @ Belly Up
April 20 Kansas City, MO @ Aftershock
April 22 Minneapolis, MN @ The Rock
April 23 Appleton, WI @ Revolution
April 24 Rockford, IL @ Kryptonite Bar
April 26 Chicago, IL @ Double Door
April 28 New York, NY @ The Studio at Webster Hall
April 29th New Jersey @ Brighton Bar
May 1 Kingston, NY @ The Basement
May 2 Harrisburg, PA @ Dragonfly
May 5 Tulsa, OK @ The Otherside
May 7 Tempe, AZ @ Club House
How to Deal with Hecklers
5 point method for handling hecklers
1. Square off your feet. Take one step towards them, and repeat whatever it is they just said. This will ensure that everyone in the crowd is aware of what is going on and it buys you an extra 5 seconds to size them up.
2. Size them up. Look for any birth defects, ethnic impurities, sexual deviations, like homosexuality or in a perfect world, they are the 3rd or 5th wheel at their table). Like Wild Kingdom, or Keeping Up With The Kardashians, a predator must separate and destroy the weak.
3. Destroy the weak. Kill them with kindness. You have already established that there is a douche bag iin the house, now you have to establish that you as the comedian are a good and decent person. This will enable you to push the heckler towards suicide following the performance. Say something nice about the heckler with as little irony and sarcasm as possible. This will throw him/(drunken) her off balance.
4. Pushing the heckler over the edge. Take the spark of pity that you have created from step 3, and douse it with one gallon barrel high octane comedic cruelty. The table has been set and now it’s time for the heckler to eat a basket of deep-fried shit (which will count as part of his two drink minimum). He will want very badly to walk out the door at this point.
5. Kicking him out the door. Don’t stop. You are not only policing this situation but sending a message to any other potential hecklers in the crowd. Pile on and then pile on a little bit more. And then a lot more. It may feel wrong, but let’s face it, but let’s face it, you are telling dick jokes to drunks in a mini-mall, not lecturing on public safety to a middle school.
The crowd has two choices at this point, the Philadelphia Flyers “Nananana.. hey, hey, hey, hey… good-bye” song or feeling sorry for the heckler and turning on you. The latter is preferred (latter means second, by the way). Now you have license to ejaculate all childhood rage in the faces of these ungrateful laid off factory workers, calling themselves a crowd. I once experienced this an hour and 10 minutes into a set in Minneapolis. I informed the crowd that because of their failure, I would be walking all 300 people from the room. For the next 45 minutes, I assaulted them with AIDS jokes, 911 jokes and Viking jokes, while counting the numbers down as people paid their checks and left. When I hit 200, I congratulated the survivors and did 10 classic minutes from the Fitz of Laughter album, available if you email your receipt for my book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons to Alice at fitzdogradio@gmail.com
Click Here to Download MP3 and PIX from Last Week’s Pittsburgh Shows
Thanks for coming out this weekend. Feel free to download my “Favorite Moments from Pittsburgh” MP3.
It is clips from all of the 5 shows. Audio quality will be getting better on future shows; this was the first week.
Also, the pix are a little shaky, but IT”S ALL FREE!!!!
Thanks again for coming
-Greg
Click Here to Download MP3 and PIX from Last Week's Pittsburgh Shows
Thanks for coming out this weekend. Feel free to download my “Favorite Moments from Pittsburgh” MP3.
It is clips from all of the 5 shows. Audio quality will be getting better on future shows; this was the first week.
Also, the pix are a little shaky, but IT”S ALL FREE!!!!
Thanks again for coming
-Greg
Greg's Halloween with Mel Brooks
Not everyone can run into the legendary Mel Brooks, but Greg Fitzsimmons can:
Greg’s Halloween with Mel Brooks
Not everyone can run into the legendary Mel Brooks, but Greg Fitzsimmons can:
Greg and Madeline Albright
Greg runs into Madeline Albright! Possibly fights her, you’ll have to find out on Monday’s SiriusXM show and podcast featuring Margaret Cho.
Madeline Albright
Chris Hardwick and Zach Hyman on Monday’s Show!
Be sure to listen in to Greg’s show Monday evening, where he discusses, censorship, freedom of speech, and chats with special guest CHRIS HARDWICK (@nerdist on Twitter) … they may bring up Billy Hardwick’s Miller High Life commercial.
(more…)
Chris Hardwick and Zach Hyman on Monday's Show!
Be sure to listen in to Greg’s show Monday evening, where he discusses, censorship, freedom of speech, and chats with special guest CHRIS HARDWICK (@nerdist on Twitter) … they may bring up Billy Hardwick’s Miller High Life commercial.
(more…)
