Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Happy St. Paddy’s Day from a true Irish Man!

Greg Receives Boston University Alumni Award

Greg’s Lost Weekend in Las Vegas

Misty Stone, Jenna Haze, Belladonna, Joanna Angel, Bobbi Star, Sara Sloan

DOWNLOAD HERE Greg goes to the dark side to interview the top Adult stars in the business and Mary Jo Buttafuco.The girls give Greg advice on marriage and Greg gives the girls financial advice on mortgages and investments.

Getting It Through My Thick Skull

Mary’s book Jessica’s play

Misty Stone, Jenna Haze, Belladonna, Joanna Angel, Bobbi Star, Sara Sloan

Greg's Lost Weekend in Las Vegas

DOWNLOAD HERE Greg goes to the dark side to interview the top Adult stars in the business and Mary Jo Buttafuco.The girls give Greg advice on marriage and Greg gives the girls financial advice on mortgages and investments.

Getting It Through My Thick Skull

Mary’s book Jessica’s play

Misty Stone, Jenna Haze, Belladonna, Joanna Angel, Bobbi Star, Sara Sloan

Greg and Rick Shapiro

DOWNLOAD HERE Greg has guest Rick Shapiro in to do this podcast. Rick is a actor you may recognize from the HBO show Lucky Louie, and a comedian that helped shape Greg in his early comedy days with his brutally honest standup. Greg starts off the podcast with a quick recap of the SiriusXM show that they just did on the Stern channel. Then he gets back into it with the guest. They cover topics like Rick living on the street, what his appearance on Stern was like, and what has happened in Rick’s life lately. They also play some games, Greg asks Rick about pop culture, which Rick only knows about from third hand material, such as comedians he doesn’t respect, and they play Liar’s Poker with Intern Brian Meyer. Also, throughout this podcast Rick and Greg talk very, very forthrightly about comedians they respect quite a bit, and which ones they don’t so much. Rick’s Facebook Rick’s Website

Cioffi’s podcast that he plugged

Fitzdog Radio – Greg and Pals

Greg and Mike Gibbons reconnect on this weeks marvelous podcast. Greg and Gibbons remember the times when they played who can steal the funniest thing from 7/11, Greg can’t help thinking of white supremacist strippers when watching Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side, and Greg tests Producer Mike Cioffi’s podcast hosting skills. The guys take your twitter questions as well as you have overheard, Greg recalls seducing a young door to door magazine saleswoman at his mother’s house, pretending it was his. DOWNLOAD IT HERE

Greg and Andy Dick

Greg has the infamous Andy Dick, who’s been in the news lately for a few incidents, do the podcast from his home!

Greg and Andy note very early that they have to dance around some of the news surrounding Andy’s pending litigation, so they jump right into masturbation talk. Is Greg too harsh? Marc Maron might be upset with Greg, and Andy asked him before they started recording to be cool, but Greg says it’s just him worrying about things being exciting enough. They go through the steps Andy took to get back in the news recently, take your Twitter questions, explain why and HOW Andy Dick lives in a SHED next to a house he paid for, and cap it off with some glory hole talk.

Enjoy.

DOWNLOAD HERE Greg has the infamous Andy Dick, who’s been in the news lately for a few incidents, do the podcast from his home! Greg and Andy note very early that they have to dance around some of the news surrounding Andy’s pending litigation, so they jump right into masturbation talk. Is Greg too harsh? Marc Maron might be upset with Greg, and Andy asked him before they started recording to be cool, but Greg says it’s just him worrying about things being exciting enough. They go through the steps Andy took to get back in the news recently, take your Twitter questions, explain why and HOW Andy Dick lives in a SHED next to a house he paid for, and cap it off with some glory hole talk. Enjoy.

Greg on Vacation / Writing in Florida

DOWNLOAD HERE Greg does the podcast in Florida while attempting to both vacation AND write the book he owes his publisher. He brought his family out to his mom’s place, and has plenty to say about the entire ordeal that has become his trip so far, while talking about the enjoying the holiday and his birthday. He takes the time to play one of the trademark FitzDog games, Rank ‘Em, which he plays by himself. We’ll be back in the studio doing the LIVE show on Stern 101, as the well as the podcast, next week, be sure to tune in! Pie

How to Deal with Hecklers

5 point method for handling hecklers

1. Square off your feet. Take one step towards them, and repeat whatever it is they just said. This will ensure that everyone in the crowd is aware of what is going on and it buys you an extra 5 seconds to size them up.

2. Size them up. Look for any birth defects, ethnic impurities, sexual deviations, like homosexuality or in a perfect world, they are the 3rd or 5th wheel at their table). Like Wild Kingdom, or Keeping Up With The Kardashians, a predator must separate and destroy the weak.

3. Destroy the weak. Kill them with kindness. You have already established that there is a douche bag iin the house, now you have to establish that you as the comedian are a good and decent person. This will enable you to push the heckler towards suicide following the performance. Say something nice about the heckler with as little irony and sarcasm as possible. This will throw him/(drunken) her off balance.

4. Pushing the heckler over the edge. Take the spark of pity that you have created from step 3, and douse it with one gallon barrel high octane comedic cruelty. The table has been set and now it’s time for the heckler to eat a basket of deep-fried shit (which will count as part of his two drink minimum). He will want very badly to walk out the door at this point.

5. Kicking him out the door. Don’t stop. You are not only policing this situation but sending a message to any other potential hecklers in the crowd. Pile on and then pile on a little bit more. And then a lot more. It may feel wrong, but let’s face it, but let’s face it, you are telling dick jokes to drunks in a mini-mall, not lecturing on public safety to a middle school.

The crowd has two choices at this point, the Philadelphia Flyers “Nananana.. hey, hey, hey, hey… good-bye” song or feeling sorry for the heckler and turning on you. The latter is preferred (latter means second, by the way). Now you have license to ejaculate all childhood rage in the faces of these ungrateful laid off factory workers, calling themselves a crowd. I once experienced this an hour and 10 minutes into a set in Minneapolis. I informed the crowd that because of their failure, I would be walking all 300 people from the room. For the next 45 minutes, I assaulted them with AIDS jokes, 911 jokes and Viking jokes, while counting the numbers down as people paid their checks and left. When I hit 200, I congratulated the survivors and did 10 classic minutes from the Fitz of Laughter album, available if you email your receipt for my book, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons to Alice at fitzdogradio@gmail.com

Greg and Sam Simon

Greg invites Simpson’s Co-Creator Sam Simon and comedian Leslie “Big Les” Jones to the Fitzdog man cave for this weeks intense podcast. The group agrees on intern Brian’s low sexual potential, they chat about last weekend’s Academy Awards, and Leslie searches for a man to tell her to shut up. Greg describes to Leslie what could have been between them if he weren’t married, they take your twitter questions, and Greg aces his sponsor plugs. DOWNLOAD HERE Brian Greg and Leslie

Greg Fills in for Carolla!

Check out Greg’s podcasting skills at work as he fills in as a guest host for Mr. Adam Carolla on Adam’s podcast Check it out

Fitzdog Radio – Slight Delay

Please excuse the delay in today’s episode of Fitzdog Radio, featuring Sam Simon (of Simpsons fame). The episode should be available shortly, Thanks.

A "technical difficulties" screengrab from the Simpsons in honor of today's guest

Dive Bars

Check out Greg’s blog about a recent video to a “famous dive bar” http://www.facebook.com/notes/greg-fitzsimmons/sitting-in-a-famous-dive-bar/346984467609

Greg and Rick Overton

Greg has veteran actor/comedian Rick Overton on this week’s podcast. Greg asks Rick how he manages to get work as an actor despite his baldness, they take all your twitter questions (every single one), Greg admits to loving an attractive pair of feet but denies having a foot fetish, and Rick follows by divulging his vagina fetish. Greg shows his lazy El Salvadorian maid curling so she can take notes on how to properly sweep his house, Rick predicts how future Olympics will resemble the reality show Survivor with chickens replacing gold medals, and they play everyone’s favorite segment Liar’s Poker. DOWNLOAD HERE

Greg and Rick

Cioffi Before Photo

Cioffi After Photo

Greg on the Road

Greg brings this podcast to you from the road. He’s taking his family to Tahoe for a weekend of skiing, and cranks this podcast out on the I-5 in his Toyota Highlander why his wife drives. DOWNLOAD HERE

Video: Greg on the Wanda Sykes Show

Check out Greg on the Wanda Sykes show!

Fitzdog Radio with Sarah Silverman

Greg does a special mid-week podcast with Sarah Silverman from Largo in LA where they both performed. Greg does a little monologue before he gets to the show. Once there, he not only talks to Sarah, but talks with her boyfriend, and introduces some NEW bits for the podcast this week. DOWNLOAD HERE

Sarah Silverman

Video: Sarah Silverman Plays Liar’s Poker

Check out this video of Sarah Silverman and Greg Fitzsimmons playing the new game “Liar’s Poker”

Video: Sarah Silverman Plays Liar's Poker

Check out this video of Sarah Silverman and Greg Fitzsimmons playing the new game “Liar’s Poker”

Makeup with Greg Giraldo

Greg tries something new with this week’s podcast … He does a monologue in his car on his way to the Jimmy Kimmel Live! greenroom where he interviews comedian Greg Giraldo while he’s getting made up for the standup set he does on the show. In the monologue, Fitzsimmons talks about some recent news, and dances around the different titles he can use for what he wants to call this new bit. When he chats with Greg Giraldo in the makeup chair, they discuss different things they’d like to apologize for. If you’re looking for Greg Giraldo’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! done minutes after this podcast, then look no futher! Check it out below:

Greg Giraldo doing standup for Jimmy Kimmel Live! just minutes after doing this week's podcast

Greg and Bill Burr

Greg chats with comedian Bill Burr on this week’s sidesplitting podcast. Bill explains how girls who run track have bodies that feel like elbows, how Baptist preachers never shut up, and Greg drops hints of his foreseeable conversion to Judaism. They take twitter question, Bill talks about Christian stories’ homosexual undertones, and Greg complains about being the designated toast giver at every wedding he’s invited to.

Bill Burr and Fitz

Click Here to Download MP3 and PIX from Last Week’s Pittsburgh Shows

Thanks for coming out this weekend. Feel free to download my “Favorite Moments from Pittsburgh” MP3. It is clips from all of the 5 shows. Audio quality will be getting better on future shows; this was the first week. Also, the pix are a little shaky, but IT”S ALL FREE!!!! Thanks again for coming -Greg

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Click Here to Download MP3 and PIX from Last Week's Pittsburgh Shows

Thanks for coming out this weekend. Feel free to download my “Favorite Moments from Pittsburgh” MP3. It is clips from all of the 5 shows. Audio quality will be getting better on future shows; this was the first week. Also, the pix are a little shaky, but IT”S ALL FREE!!!! Thanks again for coming -Greg

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Greg and Joe Rogan

This week Greg welcomes actor/comedian Joe Rogan to the podcast. Joe talks about having a marginalized opinion because he is a conspiracy theorist, and Greg talks about his recent plane masturbation. They take twitter questions, talk deprivation chambers, and learn the results of a spinning heal kick to the jaw from Joe.

Mark McGrath on Greg’s Show

Here’s a look at a clip of Mark McGrath, Zach Galifinakis, and Greg from Greg’s VH1 show

Mark McGrath on Greg's Show

Here’s a look at a clip of Mark McGrath, Zach Galifinakis, and Greg from Greg’s VH1 show

Time Capsule featuring Greg and David Koechner

The Podcast is Blowing Up

Check out what this guy over at True/Slant had to say about the podcast: “This is, hands-down (or up really?), the best comedy podcast out there.” Check out the full article here and say thanks to the guys over there for taking notice of the podcast.

Greg’s Lonely Lackeys

Much like any other radio show, Greg has lackeys that help with his, and right now, they’re fairly lonely. Greg’s mission this week is to get them a date. The two lackeys in question are associate producer Mike Cioffi, and intern Chance Dorland:

Mike Cioffi

Chance Dorland

Mike’s Twitter – Mike’s Facebook Chance’s Twitter – Chance’s Facebook

Greg's Lonely Lackeys

Much like any other radio show, Greg has lackeys that help with his, and right now, they’re fairly lonely. Greg’s mission this week is to get them a date. The two lackeys in question are associate producer Mike Cioffi, and intern Chance Dorland:

Mike Cioffi

Chance Dorland

Mike’s Twitter – Mike’s Facebook Chance’s Twitter – Chance’s Facebook

Greg Fitzsimmons

Greg

Greg hosts a radio show on Sirius “Howard 101”, appeared for years on VH1’s “Best Week Ever”, and voices a weekly animated show on “Adult Swim” called “Dog vs. Cat”. He just shot a pilot for VH1 with Andy Dick and 20^th Century FOX is currently developing a sitcom for Greg while also developing his idea for a Reality Show called “The Dream Police”. Last Spring Greg starred in an episode of “C.S.I”, and performed standup comedy at Carnegie Hall in NYC. A regular on David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, and The Tonight Show, Greg recently made his 60th visit to “The Howard Stern Show” and has done two Half-Hour Specials for Comedy Central. Greg won four Daytime Emmy Awards for writing/producing “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”. Other writing credits include HBO’s “Lucky Louie”, “Cedric the Entertainer Presents”, “Politically Incorrect w/ Bill Maher”, “Chelsea Handler Show” and “The Man Show”. The Aspen Comedy Arts Festival gave Greg the “Jury Award for Best Comedian”, an MTV game show he hosted, “Idiot Savants”, won a Cable Ace Award and last year Boston University made him the youngest recipient of the Distinguished Alumna Award in the school’s history. Irish America Magazine also twice has honored him as one of the “Top 100 Irish Americans”. Greg started a Foundation for Spinal Meningitis 10 years ago, which has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars through Comedy Benefits in NYC. He lives in Venice Beach CA with his wife Erin and 2 kids Owen, 8, and Josephine, 5. They travel around the world a lot, and also make go-carts.

Read about my new book deal in The Hollywood Reporter!

Comedy memoirs arriving early

Greg Fitzsimmons to write memoir at 40

By Georg Szalai July 8, 2009, 09:41 AM ET

NEW YORK — Funny people seem to write their memoirs early these days. Standup and TV writer Greg Fitzsimmons (“The Ellen DeGeneres Show” etc) is only in his early 40s, but he has just signed a deal with CBS Corp.’s Simon & Schuster book unit to write a comedic memoir entitled “Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons,” set to come out next year. The news comes after up-and-coming U.K. comedy star Russell Brand recently published his memoir and news that Kathy Griffin has signed a deal to pen hers. The narrative of Fitzsimmons’ book will take an unusual approach to portray the comic and what is described as his dysfunctional Irish-American family. It will use the disciplinary letters, incident reports and the like that his parents received from teachers during his younger years plus his own collection of letters received during college and thereafter. Simon & Schuster editor Kerri Kolen won the book at auction. Financial details aren’t known. Fitzsimmons was repped by Peter Steinberg of The Steinberg Agency and United Talent Agency. The comedian continues writing and starring in “Dog vs. Cat” on Adult Swim. He also hosts the weekly “The Greg Fitzsimmons Show” on Sirius XM’s “Howard 101″ channel. He is also a former writer on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” “The Man Show” and “Lucky Louie,” among others. According to his Website, Fitzsimmons also just shot a pilot for VH1 with Andy Dick and is developing a sitcom for 20th Century Fox, while also developing his idea for a reality show called “The Dream Police.”

The Greg Fitzsimmons Show on Howard 101

Check out the Greg Fitzsimmons Show on Howard 101

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Greg Fitzsimmons to write memoir at 40