Best Year Ever 2007

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Watch Greg comment on the Best Year ever!


Paul Scheer

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Paul Scheer announces his new porn app and christens a new segment on the show called #Fitzchat. They also take a trip down memory lane to the days of Vh1’s Best Week Ever.

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Listen now — Click HERE for the direct link to the mp3 of this episode, or do yourself a favor and click HERE to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and get it automatically from now on. Do us a favor and leave a nice review and rating on iTunes while you’re there, it helps us a TON.


Advice to Parents of College Graduates

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1)“THE SLOW HOME EVICTION”.

If your unmotivated grad moves back home, charge him/her $2 a day for rent for the first month (Total $60).  Then charge $4 a day for rent in the 2nd month (Total $120).  The rent by the 6th month will be $1,920.  You will not know or care how they came up with the cash, but your mortgage is covered and you’ve taught job skills to your child.

2) “NO NEPOTISM”

Do NOT set your child up for a job with a good friend of yours.  He/she will embarrass you with their alcoholism and sexually aggression while being resented by their co-workers for not having gotten the job on their own.

3) “MAKE THE GRADUATE ‘THE GRADUATE’

Insist that your loin-fruit break up with his/her college sweetheart.  Statistically, college couples that marry will divorce within 3 years (that statistic may be off because I just made it up).  In this period of his/her life they need to have an affair with an older person (ala “The Graduate”).  It is a master’s course in sexuality and an insight into the lonely sadness of a divorcee.

4) “YOUR OWN BOTTOMLESS CUP OF COFFEE”

Since your child will end up a barista, encourage him/her to work in a high-end cafe and not a Starbucks.  You can then drop by daily for a FREE Venti whatever-the–fuck you want minus the stink eye when you put zero cash in the tip jar.

5) “A GODFATHER IS A GOOD FATHER”

A student loan is no different than money borrowed from a loan shark on the street.  Remind your child of this in real terms.  Threats of repossessing an automobile or breaking a leg need to be followed through on if the child is falling short on a payment.  A broken thumb is nothing compared to Fanny Mae scarring your credit score down the road.


Greg on G4’s Top 100 Video Games!

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If you are a fan of video games, I will be commenting in a sarcastic, caustic but like-able way about my favorites on G4 June 11-15 at 8PM. “Top 100 Video Games of All Time“. And you thought my Talking Head days were over.

THE WEEKLONG EVENT STARTS JUNE 11 AT 8/7c ON G4

For additional information on G4’s Top 100 Video Games of All Time, go to http://G4TV.com/Top100 and http://www.facebook.com/G4TV and follow on Twitter @G4TV.


Mystery Guest

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Greg scoops an interview with a man so dangerous he cannot reveal his name on the podcast. If you have a rageful relationshop with a family member that you may attack, live through a sad man.

F My Mother-in-Law by A Sad Man

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Fitzdog App — Get the TOTALLY FREE Fitzdog app on for Apple IOS by clicking HERE.

Listen now — Click HERE for the direct link to the mp3 of this episode, or do yourself a favor and click HERE to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and get it automatically from now on. Do us a favor and leave a nice review and rating on iTunes while you’re there, it helps us a TON.


Danny Zuker

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Greg personally thanks guest Danny Zuker (Modern Family Executive Producer) for instigating a premature “birds and the bees” talk with his kids after an episode of Modern Family. They then talk about Eric Stonestreet (Cam on Modern Family), their sexual appeal towards women vs. their sexual appeal towards gay men and Danny’s Rules for Surviving a Comedy Writer’s Room.

Fitzdog App — Get the TOTALLY FREE Fitzdog app on for Android by clicking HERE.

Fitzdog App — Get the TOTALLY FREE Fitzdog app on for Apple IOS by clicking HERE.

Listen now — Click HERE for the direct link to the mp3 of this episode, or do yourself a favor and click HERE to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and get it automatically from now on. Do us a favor and leave a nice review and rating on iTunes while you’re there, it helps us a TON.


Airplane Jokes

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Flying back from Ohio this past fall I’m standing behind an Old Lady in the security line. As her one carry-on bag disappears into the X-Ray Machine, an alarm goes off and Airport Security jumps into action. You have to watch the old ones; they have less to live for.

Her bag, now unzipped, reveals a furry white cat. The x-ray machine clearly states that it will damage your film, but I guess she thinks it will be fine for the live animal. Then I think, maybe the cat is sick; the old lady can’t afford radiation treatments & now she takes him to the airport a few times a week for a blast.

I’m wearing an Ohio State University sweatshirt. It was given to me after my show the night before, and as I trudge towards my gate a guy walks past me and says, “Go Bucks.” As a non- sports fan I have no idea what he is talking about. Three or four more knuckleheads bark this at me before I snap and say, “What the hell are you talking about?” Turns out The Ohio State Buckeyes are the #1 College Football team in the country at that time. I go from annoyed to kind of happy that I am being associated with champions. It doesn’t bother me that people are only cheering for a garment I am wearing, or that I know absolutely nothing about college football. I am being treated like a winner, and I don’t get that a lot. I start screaming back, “Go Bucks!”

Most things you wear don’t solicit big reactions from people. Nobody walks past a woman with a cross around her neck and says, “Go Christ”. I’ve never seen a girl in a Hooters T-shirt and screamed, “Go Titties!” I spotted a 20-year-old dude sitting at a red light yesterday in a BMW. He was yapping on his cell and sipping an enormous Starbucks, which he almost spilled as I stuck my head in his window and screamed, “TRUST FUND!” He was a winner.


Talk Your Way Out of It with Adam Carolla

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Greg Fitzsimmons tests comedians’ quick wit by putting them through an incredibly awkward, and sometimes disgusting, situation on his show Fitzdog Radio.

Watch as funny man Adam Carolla talks his way out of a ‘ripe’ party situation. Shields up!


Talk Your Way Out of It! with Bill Burr

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Watch how Bill Burr talks his way out of it. Smooth.


Talk Your Way Out of It! with Zach Galifianakis

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Check out the video of Zach Galifianakis trying to talk his way out of it! It’ll make your day.


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